I think I'm going to break my fast today. Carefully. Thoughtfully. The way I know I can, because I feel I have accomplished what I set out to accomplish. This was not primarily for weight loss; it was a nice side effect. The main purpose of this was to prove to myself that food is not the boss of me. I have survived several food-oriented celebrations amid criticism and assorted nay-saying, and I came out the other side still fasting, only making minor compromises: I had canned fruit juice, because that's what they had. And I had a glass of red wine (technically it's fruit juice) that I sipped all afternoon. Otherwise, I feel good about how I handled myself.
The only thing I'm struggling with here is my ego. The more they tell me how unhealthy this is, how dangerous, how bizarre or extreme, the more they scoff, roll their eyes and shake their heads, the more determined I am to stick with it and prove their asses wrong. The thing is, I know I can handle doing 30 days; I'm over halfway now, and I feel fine. But my body is giving me some feedback: it's bored. Enough already, it says, I get it, I get it. I'm not frantically craving food, I'm just wanting to get on with feeding myself sensibly with good quality, fresh, whole food. I want to return to normal. This does not feel like it's in response to a craving or deficiency; it just feels like my body has done what it needs to do and it's ready. The cat sits when it wants to sit, and it get's up when it's done sitting. Same thing. No rhyme or reason, it just is.
I can expect to probably gain 5-10 lbs back once I start eating, but I think my metabolism has stalled.
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