The internet is a strange place. Who would've thought anyone would be publicly discussing their bathroom habits? But this is, hopefully, for the greater good. My coworker, Jennie, felt compelled to ask me, "So...what do you do for fibre...or whatever? How does that work?" I had to explain to her that the point of this whole exercise is to shut down the digestive system...so everything just...stops. She and Lori looked at me, incredulous.
"That can't be good for you." said Lori, a sentiment that has been echoed by pretty much everyone in the office. Only Dale has refrained from chastising me about it, telling everyone to mind their own business. I don't mind answering questions, but I wish they would believe me when I tell them that I take my health seriously, I'm listening to my body, and I will break my fast if I feel my health is starting to decline.
Anyway, I explained - as briefly and delicately as possible - the ins and outs of salt water flushing, what it entailed, and why I need to do it.
"You do that every day??" Jennie asked. I explained that I'm supposed to, but ain't nobody got time for that. You need at least a couple of hours where you don't have to be anywhere...except near a bathroom. I like to think I have a life. (Shaking my head) I'm still flabbergasted that my bathroom habits have become fodder for public speculation.
Anyway, here I sit, trying to choke down another cup of warm salt water. Chicken soup. It's just chicken soup. As I do so, I'll recount today's adventures. Made my morning mojito, then another batch of juice for lunch (which wasn't as good as I hoped). Lunch was kale, clementine orange, pineapple, carrot and cucumber. I think it was maybe the carrot that fucked up the taste. It smelled somewhere between perm solution and a fart (probably the kale). Anyway, it wasn't the best combination. Maybe I need to ad some lemon to it. Lemon seems to be to juice what cheese is to any culinary screw-up: it seems to cover/fix anything.
I was extremely tired today. I had to resort to a 5-Hour-Energy shot to get through from noon to 4:30. I think that's technically cheating, but whatever. It's clear liquid, it's full of B vitamins and it was all about survival today. The real problem is that I'm not sleeping enough. My body's doing its best, but it needs the down-time to get shit done. As soon as this salt water percolates through my system, I'm going to take a shot of juice and hit the sack. On a positive note, my water intake is way up today thanks to my new collection of herbal teas. Celestial Seasonings puts out the best freaking tea on the planet. I am in love with their Sugar Plum Spice tea and I need to stock up.
Okay, shitty salt water solution has been imbibed. Gross. Let the fireworks begin.
Weighed myself this afternoon: 198.5! I've hit the wall it seems, which is probably why my body has been screaming for carby, fatty, sweet comfort food. It's saying, "Awwww, do I really have to use my fat? (whine)" Yes. Yes you do. This is why you packed all that shit around your belly. So use it and lose it. You don't need it any more.
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